I am back I think!!!

Well it has been almost 2 months since I last blogged.  Wow where has that time went???  Well I started college on August 22 and holy cow what was I thinking??  It will be worth it in the end but wow the time involved to get all the studying, assignments, papers and driving done is insane.  I honestly had forgotten about doing my blog and for that I am very sorry!!  It has been insane at our house between my school schedule, the girl's school schedule and then the oldest having volleyball and drama on top of school and the hubby working 2 jobs I usually don't know if I am coming or going.  School is going well so far I believe I have all A's but I know that is not really what you all read my blog for so here is the real update you all want:

When I last blogged I weighed 327 lbs and now I am currently down to 317.8 as of Monday.  So I am down 10 lbs for a total of 29 lbs lost since I started this journey in June.  Not bad but not great for 2 months of weight loss.  However my face book status currently reads:

Where has my will power and good attitude gone??  Will whoever has stolen it please return it???  I would really appreciate it and won't even ask questions if returned soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If anyone has seen either of these items could you please send them home or tell me where they are so I can get them back.  I have been really bad lately about logging food.  Also my only exercise lately is my water aerobics so I need to start logging again and get back to doing some type of exercise every day!!  Also since starting school my water consumption has gone down the drain.  I am constantly drinking pop while in the bad thinking all I really want is water.  I have even quit taking my phentermine!  Why you migh ask?  Well I honestly don't know!!!  I honestly don't know why I have been doing all the bad things I have been doing. 

So please help me to get back on track and get rid of this weight.  My goal was to be under 300 by November 12 but not sure if that can happen now?!?!?!  This makes me sad cuz I had been doing so good.  I hope all of you have been doing better at this weight loss thing and I am hoping that by returning to blogging I will get back on track!!!!!!!

Weigh in

Just wanted to report in this weeks weigh in.  I have lost 0.2 lbs and 3.75 inches this week!!!  Not a lot of weight but inches are good too so can't be disappointed.

IT has been crazy around here.  Trying to get ready for school and for me to start school as well.  Bought my books yesterday and all I can say is Oh S**T!!!  I hope I can do this!!  Not gonna be easy that is for sure!!  Another huge source of stress for me is my oldest starts Jr High this year and that means school sports, plays etc.  I am not ready for my Carebear to be that big!!!  She is looking forward to it though so that is a plus!!  My baby will have a nanny the 2 days a week I am in school.  He has never had a babysitter so not sure how that is going to go either. So many new things happening around my house in the next couple of weeks.  Hoping to not let my focus slide as I adjust to all of it!! 

I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pretty proud of myself at that moment!!  I just finished 4 12 min miles walking with Leslie Sansone and fat buring walking video!!!  Goal for tomorrow is to be able to do the whole video which is 5 miles!!  If not tomorrow than Tuesday!!  I can do this and I will do this!!  Hoping my oldest will do the video with me tomorrow. 

Also in the last 7 days I have done 718 minutes of exercise and burned 5992 calories!!!  And that is without adding any everyday activities like cooking in.  Now just gonna keep it up and keep watching what I eat!!!! 

Must be getting old or something

So for the first time in I don't know how long I have been all alone all weekend!!!  The kids are at Gramma & Grampa's and hubby is out of state working.  Been busy deep cleaning my house and doing ALL the laundry.  Well the last load is in the drier, the house is pretty much spotless and I am wondering what to do with myself tomorrow.  The weird part about all of this is normally I would be over at neighbors(they are having an adult birthday party) however I have no desire to be over there or around people.  Not sure why but would just rather not be there.  Maybe because I have worked hard or maybe because I am getting old.  On a positive note I have not sweated this much in like forever.  I have been dripping sweat the last 2 days as I clean my house so hoping I burned some calories and it will show on the scale on Thursday. 

Looking forward to everyone coming home tomorrow although I know by Monday night I will probably be frustrated with the kids but oh well the joys of being a mom, right??

Weekly weigh in and July totals

Just a quick update.  Today I weighed in at 327.2 which is down 3.4 lbs since last week.  And now for July totals.... I am down 7.8 lbs and 6.75 inches since July 1.  Not too bad but not great either.  I do believe it will be time to get new pants soon since all but 2.25 of those inches are off of my hips, waist, and thighs.  School starts this month for me and the kids so things are about to get crazy but I am going to keep losing!!!

Also am super excited that my water aerobics instructor has agreed to come in at 6 a.m. instead of 7 a.m. Mon Wed Fri for me and a couple of other ladies so that we can continue with our water aerobics.  This means I can keep doing my water aerobics and add daily walks to it!! 

Wow it has been crazy!!!

It has been crazy busy at my house lately.  Had a garage sale yesterday and today so have been busy all week getting ready for it.  I considered it a huge success and anything leftover is being donated. 

The bad news is Thursday I posted a gain of almost 3 lbs.  Not sure why since I have continued to exercise and have stayed under my calories.  I am wondering if it is the new scale??  I guess we will see at next week weigh ins.  I was not happy with my self Thursday and I almost gave up but didn't and am happy to say that I didn't give up.  Usually that would have been enough for me to be frustrated and throw in the towel.

Sorry this is so short but I have to get my new goddaughter's book sewed together and packed so we can head to SD for her baptism tomorrow.  Hope everyone has a great weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gotta get moving!!!

Wow I am exhausted!!  Had water aerobics this morning.  Came home spent time with the kids and sorted stuff for the garage sale this weekend.  This evening took the kids to the pool for 2 hrs.  Let me just tell you walking, running, jumping in the water with a 36 lb. toddler is hard work!!  I needed the extra work out I am sure but holy cow are my arms are tired.  To top if off if I wasn't swimming with my son I was swimming laps freestyle.  It feels good to have been so active tomorrow but I am ready for bed!!

So I had a moment of insanity yesterday and committed to a challenge.  I committed to being under 300 by August 31.  Umm yeah not sure about this.  That is almost 30 lbs in a month.  I am gonna push hard watch what I eat and work out more and hopefully Sept 1 I can report that I made it.  I don't care if it is 299.99 as long as that first # is a 2!!!  I can do this!!! 

New scale & a shout out!!

I bought a new scale today and it seems to be working great!!  I will be weighing in in the morning so that I have a base number with the new scale.  Hopefully it won't be too ugly tomorrow!! I haven't stepped on it but I did make my kids and it was pretty close to the old scale so hoping it is close to me as well. 

Now the shout out.  If you are looking for an easy way to track calories in & out check out www.myfitnesspal.com  I absolutely love this website.  If you have a smartphone it also has an app for your phone.  I have a Droid and have the app on my phone and it is soo awesome.  You put in the food and amount it tells you calories you ate.  It sets your calorie goal based on your height weight and goals.  Also will tell you how many calories burned doing your exercise when you enter length and exercise done.  This site also has message boards and ways to track your weight etc.  It is an amazing thing and I highly recommend it!!!  It has helped me so much and I get so much support from the other people on there!!! 

2 lb loss I THINK!!!!

So after having to purposely make a stop yesterday because I had forgotten about buying a scale all day I take it out of the package this morning and get ready to weigh in and the stupid thing doesn't want to turn on.  Finally get it to turn on and the stupid thing gives me 3 different weights the 3 times I stepped on it.  I walk away come back try again and same thing different weight every time I step on.  So it is going back to the store Saturday morning when I go to town.  So I pulled out my old scale and went with the weight that came up the most in 10 tries.  I hope the scale I get Saturday will give me an accurate weight.  THis is soo frustrating!!!

Yikes!!!

Tomorrow is weigh in day and I have never been so scared.  If you remember my scale died last week and I bought a new one today.  That means tomorrow I weigh in on a new scale that I have never stepped foot on.  I haven't even taken it out of the box yet.  YIKES!!!!!

On a good note today was a much better day!! I was brave and I took them all to Casper shopping.  To my surprise they were all very well behaved and all got along and it was one hell of a long day!!!  It was so nice to actually enjoy them instead of having to constantly discipline them and being frustrated all day!!!  Also want to say a big thank you to all of you that have read my posts the last couple of days and encouraged me to keep going.  It means sooo much to me.  Kathy you have no idea how much your email meant to me tonite when I got home!!!!!  It made me cry in a good way!!  I love you and thank you for all that you do and have done for me!!! 

One more thing:  I am so impressed myself tonite!!  We were gone all day shopping.  I stayed under my calories so this eating healthy thing is finally starting to click in my brain!! 

Thank you all and here's to hoping the new scale will be nice to me in the morning. 

About to give up!!!

I am trying hard not to but I just want to give up on this journey.  I am just getting so frustrated with everything(see previous post) and I just don't know if I have the fight left to climb this Mountain!!!  So many things working against me and my emotions are taking over.  I know deep down I don't want to give up but part of me says why change the way everyone thinks of me.  I mean I have been Lardo for 30+ yrs why change it now?????? 

So tonite I am at a crossroads in this journey and hope that my mind will clear and I will see the path to continue on.  All I am asking is to keep me in your thoughts and hope things settle down and I find my way cuz right now I am in some pretty heavy fog and losing my way!!!

Warning Vent ahead!!!!

I am so so so sick and tired of kids fighting & whining!!!  I am also sick of being used, taken advantage of, laughed at, made fun of, and being shit on by people who are supposed to be my friends!!!!  I hate that I can't buy my kids everything they want even if they deserve it!!  I hate that I couldn't carry my 2 youngest to full term and the issues this has caused both of them.  I hate that my husband works 2 jobs because he doesn't want our youngest in daycare. I hate that people I thought were my friends have proven that they aren't.  I hate that I really have no friends close.  I hate that I weigh 329 lbs and struggle so hard to lose weight.  I hate that my dad has never met my son!! I hate that I am not allowed to call my mom! But most of all I hate that I feel so alone some days!!!!!!!!!!!!  No I am not suicidal I am just sick and tired of hiding all of this deep down and putting on a smile everyday and everyone assuming I am ok instead of just once asking how I really am and taking the time to actually listen to my real answer.  I am feeling very alone and lost.  I am on a journey but for the first time ever feel like I am going every step of the way by myself!!!  I want people to truly be my friends and be willing to go do something as simple as having coffee with me.  Maybe I just need to accept I am a bitch and no one wants to be around me.  Who knows??? 

Sorry but I warned you!!!!!!  I had to get that out and I had no clue where else I could let out this vent so this was my outlet.  Everyone says I am soo strong well you know what I sure don't feel that way today!!!  But none the less I will continue to put a smile on my face, pretend all is well, put one foot in front of the other and try to lose another pound by Thursday.  I am hoping to buy a new scale on Wednesday so I should be able to get a true weight Thursday.

New God Daughter

I am so excited.  My Hubby and I were asked to be our new nieces godparents.  She is absolutely beautiful in pictures and I cannot wait to see her & hold her.  The bad part is now I have to go shopping and I hate shopping for me for dress clothes!!  I love that I get to go shopping for her!!  She is just one more thing to keep me motivated.  Baptism is July 31 and I would love to have lost my first 20 lbs by then!!  Only about 3 lbs to go so I think it is completely doable!!

I have started pilates videos at home and I am fairly certain they are gonna be the death of me!!  But I will keep doing it because I can see results.  Also am loving the Walk Away the Pounds vidoes as well.  And am still doing my water aerobics!!!  Just wish I could figure out why I am so tired after exercising I thought it was supposed to give you energy??

What A Rush!!!!

OK I know I said I wasn't gonna be able to weigh but I went ahead and tried on my scale.  I stepped on my scale 10 times and the number that came up the most was 329.2 so I am gonna go with that which means weight stayed the same.  Also decided since I couldn't get an accurate weight I would take my measurements since it had been 2 wks.  The results are in I lost .5" from my bicep, 2" from my chest, 1.5" from my waist, and .5" from my thigh for a grand total of 4.5 inches lost in 2 wks.  Not too shabby if I do say so myself.

And now I have to share a funny moment.  Yesterday my 12 yr old decided she was gonna do pilates with me.  She about died with the first exercise which was the basic 100 where you put legs up in air laying on back pick up head and bounce arms 100 times.  Me I did fine with it (for the first time ever).  Then we did some leg work and some more abs and I kicked her butt!!  I was soooo proud of myself.  This fat momma kicked her sports playing skinny teeny boppers butt in pilates.  What a rush!!!!!!!!!

NO Weigh In tomorrow :(

First of all to explain the title my scale has died(probably from my big butt stepping on it).  I can step on it 6 times and get at least 4 different weights.  Not real helpful to determine a correct weight.  I will be getting a new one in time for next weeks weigh-in!!

Next I am mad at myself!!!  Trying my scale today and realized that all 6 weights were above last week.  Obviously I have not done as well as I thought so I am making changes.  I am not going to let myself fail!!!!!!  I am cutting calories back to 1500/day and hopefully that along with adding in some push ups & sit ups everyday plus 20 min of pilates 2x a week will make that stupid scale move!!!  One can hope right???

On a good note today I have done my water aerobics plus 50 push ups, 50 sit ups, and 25 min of pilates.  Tomorrow is my off day of water aerobics but I hope to get all the others done at some point during the day!!  And if I get in more than thats just a bonus.  However for today all that exercise has meant neglecting the laundry so off I go to load the dishwasher and fold laundry!!!  Exciting huh??

Sooooooooo Proud of Myself!

So I have to take a moment to brag!!  I forgot to take my Phentermine camping with me this weekend and when I realized it Saturday morning my first thought was Oh Shit.  So I think to myself just be careful you can do this and to my surprise I did pretty well.  I kept my eating in check and I didn't touch the Rice Krispy Bars.  When I wanted a snack I just grabbed a small one.  My biggest downfall was that I didn't drink enough water and so came home with ankles that looked like pregnancy kankles.  I am happy to say that after water aerobics this morning they are pretty much back to normal and I am back on my Phentermine and my water intake. I did get some exercise in every day.  It was a walk up to the bathroom. :)  So I am thinking I will be ok when it comes time for weigh-in on Thursday!!!

Today at lunch I came to the realization that it is soo important to put away lunch leftovers!!  I usually don't but today I picked at the leftovers and after the second time it hit me what I was doing and and I promptly threw the rest away!!  I am so happy that I am finally realizing all of this crap and making the changes necessary so that I can finally stay on track with my weight loss! 

Hope you all had a great weekend!! 

Wish me luck!!!!!!!!!!

Ok as I write this I hope it makes sense because I am sooooooooo tired.  My husband was blessed with a new niece today!  She is healthy and beautiful.  I can not wait to meet her but it will be a couple of weeks before I do.

The scale:  I lost 5.8 lbs this week!!  That means since starting this journey I have lost 17.8 lbs!!  I am almost to my first goal of losing the first 20 lbs.  My next goal is to lose my first 10% which means I have to lose 34.7 lbs which will take me close to being out of the 300's but now quite so obviously my third goal is to get out of the 300's.  That will be a day for real celebration!!!

I am going on a mini vacation this weekend but will be back Sunday evening.  Hoping I don't totally blow the diet while I am gone!!!!!  Wish me luck!!!!!!!!!!!

OH NO tomorrow is weigh in!!!!!!

I am dreading tomorrow!!!!!!!!  I don't know why I have tried really hard to eat good and I have been doing my water aerobics.  I think a lot of it is the fear after gaining last week.  I can do this I can do this I can do this right?????

I am doubting myself so much the last couple of days!!  I just need to keep working at it but sometimes it would be easier to eat that candy bar!!!!!!!!!!!  But then I would never get to fly or go on rides with my kids. 

Speaking of kids I had to take all 3 grocery shopping today.  Dear god I don't even know if I got what I needed.  They were all so crabby and wouldnot listen!!!  If they were not whining the girls thought they needed to touch every freaking item on the shelf.  I was so frustrated with them and the have not gotten any better since we got home.  I just want to run away. 

I am going to start adding EA Active for the WII to my exercise list.  Hoping it will help kick everything into gear just a little more and make the pounds melt away a just little faster.  Can't hurt right???

Tomorrow I will report on the weigh in and I may just measure myself for the hell of it.  Just praying for some kind of a loss!!!!!

Another weigh in is coming close!!

First of all I have to say that I am pretty proud of myself for how I ate yesterday!!! I ended the day at about 300 calories over my limit but that was before I logged any exercise  and we were at the lake so I got lots of that in.  Spent this evening watching the sky wondering who made mother nature mad.  Luckily we made it thru the storm with no damage but for awhile I thought we were in big trouble!!  Watching clouds swirl above your head is definately not a comforting sight!! 

I overcame a small part of my demons today by actually admitting what some of my demons were.  I know this will sound crazy but I feel like a huge weight was lifted and I have yet to actually admit them outloud only in my head.  I feel as if I actually deserve to succeed at this goal and lose my weight!!  This is a huge break thru for me!!  I have always thought I didn't deserve to be a healthy thin person!! 

I am a little nervous for Thursday's weigh in but I really think it will be ok!!  I have been watching my calorie intake and keeping up with exercising and actually started doing some sit ups and push ups at home on my off aerobic days.  Let's just say my daughters sat in awe as I did 50 crunches on my exercise ball and then did 50 sit ups with it as well!!  I felt good afterwards even if it was only 50 of each.  That's a lot for this fat girl!!!!!!  It is a start and soon I hope to add some exercises with resistance bands to the off days.   I have to remember one step at a time one pound at a time!!!!!

Happy 4th of July

Just wanted to take a moment to wish everyone a happy 4th of July!!  My family & I will be going to the lake for the day!!  I am sure the day will be filled with challenges when it comes to healthy food but I am going to do my best!  My biggest downfall will probably be the strawberry daquiri's that I love.  Yes we take a blender to the lake with us!!!!   Today was a great day as far as the diet went.  My only craving today was for Watermelon and I guess I don't consider that a bad craving.  This eating healthy/less is getting easier every day.  A good friend of mine gave me the "kick in the ass" I have been needing and I am ready for whatever this week holds for me!!!

I decided to just do it!!

I hate taking my measurements and today I decided that maybe it would be best to keep track of that as well so that on days I see a gain I will hopefully see a loss of inches and will not get as discouraged.  I wrote the measurements down and will remeasure at least every month on the 1st.  I actually did 50 sit ups & 50 push ups today.  I know its not a lot but when I am someone who never used to do them to me it is a huge accomplishment.  Also today I realized I have a lot of issues that I need to deal with so that I can succeed at weight loss.  There are demons in my past that I need to come to terms with but I have not figured out how to do this yet nor have I figured out who it is safe to talk to about these demons.  These demons scare me therefore I do not talk openly about them, they are not something anybody knows about.  They are things that are awful and made me turn to food.  I hope over the next few weeks/months that I will find someone to talk to about these demons.  I know a huge relief will be felt when these demons can be gone. 

I have to say a big thank you to my mommy friend that encouraged me to download the My Fitness Pal app on my phone!!  That app is amazing and I love having an easy convenient way to track my calories/exercise every day.  My phone goes everywhere with me so it makes tracking easy.  Thank you Jamie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I would highly recommend it to anyone that needs an easy way to journal your calories and exercise!!! 

Upcoming holiday and a gain

So as promised I weighed myself this morning and I gained 3 lbs.  The good news to that is even though I gained my clothes, in particular my swimsuit, are fitting different looser I think.  My swimsuit is almost too big and and I just bought it 3 wks ago!!  I have to share my feel good moment of the week so far.  Wednesday morning as I was getting ready to head to SD my 12 yr old daughter comes up to me and says "Hey Mom, your tummy is getting smaller"  That one comment made my week!!  I am happy that somebody can see a difference especially since I am really bummed about the whole weight gain this week!! 

I am looking forward to spending the Fourth of July with my family at the lake.  The hard part is going to be keeping what I eat in check.  I am going to go with something I seen on someone else's blog-I will allow myself one bite of anything so that I do not feel deprived.  I bought watermelon, cantaloupe, & honeydew today and will be cutting that up and taking it with me so that I have at least one healthy snack!!  However I am sure I will still have to roast and eat at least one Marshmallow!!!  Don't want the rest of the smore just the burnt marshmallow!!! 

Hope everyone has a great holiday weekend and stay safe!!!

No weigh in today :(

Sorry I was gone for a couple of days and was not home this morning to weigh in.  I am planning on weighing in tomorrow after water aerobics.  Hopefully I will remember.  TOday I got my financial aid award letter.  That means I will officially start school to become a nurse on Aug 22.  I am beyond excited that this last piece of the puzzle has fallen into place.  It is just one more reason for me to work hard at losing weight!!  I am not 100% sure that I will post a loss this week but I am hoping to.  I had a great couple of days in South Dakota but am happy to be home and ready for water aerobics in the morning!!  My hubby will be home in about an hour and that makes for a great day in my world.  I have missed him and look forward to being able to spend some time with him.  I tried hard to eat well on the road but that definately is not an easy task.  Doughnuts are not diet friendly but sometimes you do what you gotta do.

Needing a kick in the A**!!!!!

I need a good kick in the ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I feel like I am failing the last few days.  I seem to be constantly hungry and only want sweets!  I am hoping it will go away now that I am finally finished taking the prednisone but I just don't know :(  I am still doing my water aerobics and trying to eat less but not doing so great with the last part.  I want to lose this weight but seems like I am making myself fail.  Honestly I am scared to be skinny.  I have never been thin in my life!!  Hello I came into this world 10 lbs.  I am scared of losing what I have and scared of what the future will hold.  And unfortunately with that comes me turning to my comfort item: FOOD!!!  If only someone could tell me what I could successfully replace food with.  Tonite watching extreme makeover the woman hit the nail on the head when she said alcoholics and drug addicts have it soo much easier than someone addicted to food.  An alcoholic doesn't NEED alcohol daily they can avoid it, A drug addict doesn't need the drugs daily they can avoid it. Both just want what they are addicted to but those of us addicted to food we can't avoid it.  It is necessary to eat food daily therefore we have to fight our addiction every minute of every day.  This is a fight and hopefully a fight I can win but it is not easy.  My mother in law recently told me this weight didn't all come on over night so it isn't gonna come off over night.  I need to be patient and just work at it.  One day at a time, one pound at a time to a new me!!  If anyone has any advice please I would love to hear it!!!

Great day for the most part!!!

Sorry I have been MIA lately been spending time outdoors with my kids!!  Today Sonya and Braedan came out and we let the boys play outside.  We had set up the little pool for them but they wanted no part of that!!  Us mommas we spent a wee bit too much time in the sun and I am now quite sunburnt and so is Sonya!!  Oh well it was worth it!!  I am so thankful she was able to come out so we could spend some time together!!  It had been ages.  Overall things have been going pretty good but I am sooo ready to be off of this stupid prednisone!!!  I hate all the side effects and all I want to do is eat even on my phentermine!!  I am trying to really watch what I eat.  To get thru this phase I have implemented a new rule:  If I want a snack I eat an apple and then if I still need something I will wait 20 minutes before eating it.  So far today I have eaten 4 apples but only 1 cupcake so I guess it is working but I still have a stupid craving that will not go away!!!  Monday can not come soon enough!!!  Unfortunately the hubby just called from work and our truck just got hammered with hail.  He is not happy and that means I will be calling insurance Monday morning.  Truck isn't even 6 months old!!   I haven't seen it yet but I really hope it isn't as bad as I am picturing!!  For tonite I am off to work on some receiving blankets I am making for a friend!!  Fun & relaxing plus my hands will be full so I can't eat anything!!!!

Not so bad!!!

Well this morning was weigh in and...... I LOST 4.6 LBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It's not a lot but considering the prednisone and other things going on I am pretty happy with that.  This makes for a total of 15 lbs lost since starting the phentermine and means I am only 5 lbs from my first goal of losing 20 lbs!!!  I am so excited to see the scale moving down every week!!  Since I am finally feeling better today is going to be a day of house cleaning and then I do believe we will be going for a walk to the park for a little outdoor time with the kids.  Hope everyone has a great day!!!

Prednisone sucks!!!!

Wow is all I can say about Prednisone!!!  It makes it really hard to sleep between the hot flashes, chills, and flushing episodes.  And on top of that none if it seems to be helping I feel no different than before I went in!!  I am trying to stay on track with the eating but that's not easy with these stupid meds either!!  I JUST WANT TO FEEL BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!  I want to be able to lose my weight and do all the goals I have set for myself!!!  I am going to attempt my water aerobics in the morning because I need to do it for me mentally if nothing else even if I don't get as good of a workout as I normally would.  Thursday's weigh in is fast approaching and I am afraid I have failed this week and that makes me very very sad :(  I am hoping by tomorrow at this time I will finally be seeing an improvement with all of this but at the same time not getting my hopes up!!  I know I am rambling tonite but I am frustrated and just want to go eat the cinnamon rolls that are in my kitchen and I am typing on here just to avoid doing that very thing!!  I can do this!! I have to do this!! 

Not gonna let this stop me!!!!

Well I found out what the crud is that has been making me feel like crap.  Laryngitis with upper respiratory inflammation :(  So now I am on prednisone for the next 7 days to take down the inflammation.  Who gets this crap in June??? It has me seriously frustrated.  Now I am worried about that number on the scale come Thursday morning.  The eating hasn't been an issue.  You seriously do not want to eat with this and I have been making myself do my water aerobics BUT I am worried about what the meds are gonna do to all of my efforts!!!  I guess I just concentrate on getting better and try to eat the best I can and hope it doesn't bite me in the ass come Thursday!!!  I just wanna feel better and not gain weight while I do it.  This is a bump in the road and I will not let it put me in the ditch!!!! 

Busy weekend

Yesterday was a very busy day with all of the activities of Wright days.  The kids and I walked down to the parade route and enjoyed the parade and then the fun on the go games.  We had fun and my little man was sooo tired by the time we walked home.  Good thing I had taken his stroller with us.  We had a lite lunch he took a nap and we headed down to play at the park. Then a lite supper with friends and letting the kids dance while we visited.  Today was awesome cuz all 3 kids slept till 9:30 which never happens at this house!  It was nice to sleep in but we are definately missing Greg today!  He is in SD and so we do not get to spend Father's day with him :(  Overall though I really do believe I did ok with the diet the last 2 days and I did get in the 2 short walks yesterday.  Tomorrow is water aerobics and I am really looking forward to it.  I am getting into a slump of not seeing a difference but I am working hard to fight thru it!  I really hope I do not sabotage myself for success at this weeks weigh in.  I am nervous about it so a few positive thoughts can't hurt if you can spare them.  Still not feeling the best but I am just trying to stay positive thru it all.  I need to find my motivation again if you find it please return it!!!

Not such a good day!!

Today started out ok, did water aerobics at 7 and came home and saw the hubby off to SD.  Starting feeling like crud though and throughout the day started feeling worse.  Not sure what this crud is I am battling but I think it will end up with another trip to the dr :( I hate the dr and if you know me you know I have to be pretty sick to go in.  My eating has not been great today.  I have not ate a lot but what I did eat was not very healthy.  I have drank way too much pop and not enough water today.  Hopefully tomorrow I will wake up and feel better and can do better with diet and exercise.  I will not give up no matter how crappy I feel!!!  I have a friends wedding coming soon and I will not be this size when she gets married!!!!  Also want a new pair of boots for school this fall but I have told myself I have to be under 300 to get them so I have to keep that scale going down!!! I can do this!!!

Drum Roll Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the results are in!!!!  I weighed in this morning at 336.6 which means I am down 10.4 lbs since I started taking the Phentermine.  I am so excited to see the number going down!!!  Today has not been a great day as I can not seem to kick this strep but it too shall pass.  I am still going to my water aerobics class tomorrow and hoping for numbers just as good next week.  I have not been very active today so I hope tomorrow is a better day! 

Tomorrow is the big day!!!

Today started out way early with water aerobics at 7 a.m.  It was awesome and a great bunch of ladies!!  I really think I am gonna enjoy the class other than the time of day!!  I am not a morning person but I will survive for 3 days a week!  Tomorrow is my first weigh in since starting Phentermine.  I am hoping to have at least lost something but not gonna get my hopes up too high!!  I am not feeling good this evening and hoping it will not affect weigh in tomorrow!!  Please keep your fingers crossed for some type of a loss tomorrow.  Oh and I almost forgot I found out today that I will be receiving student loans  so I will be starting Nursing school this fall!!  I am excited!!

Biggest challenge of the day

Today I had a super productive day.  I cleaned house, did laundry rearranged my little boys room and made a homemade rhubarb crisp all before 5:00 p.m.  After supper tonite I identified one of my biggest downfalls of weightloss.  I hate to waste food!!! At supper my daughter was full with have of a fajita left and guess who without thinking just started to eat it.  Was I hungry?  Nope just didn't want to waste it.  Then my little boy wanted an apple for a snack he ate about 1/2 of it and was done.  He then handed it to me (he's 2) and I almost ate it!  I did stop myself this time but wow I wonder how often I have been doing this.  I also wonder why do I do this and the only answer I can come up with is because growing up we didn't have food to waste.  We didn't have much money growing up so we wasted nothing no matter what!  I must make myself pay attention to my body and when it is telling me it is hungry!!  So starting today I am going to ask myself if I am really hungry before I eat something and if the kids don't eat something I am giving myself permission to throw it away instead of eat it.  Tomorrow morning bright & early I start water aerobics and then off to a chiropractor appt.  I have had to fight hard not to weigh myself till Thursday but I am very anxious to see if I am actually losing any weight!!! 

My Journey is Just beginning

I have started this blog as a way to help me stay on track during my weight loss. I currently weigh 343 lbs. I gave myself a goal weight of 225 lbs which means I have to lose basically a whole person to get there. It won't be easy but I believe it can be done. I have 3 kids and a husband to keep up with and am starting Nursing school this fall. I will do this I have to do this for my me and my family!! I starting taking Phentermine to help me lose the weight and already have seen a difference. I no longer want to eat all day and I no longer crave pop. I used to drink pop all day long but now can't even get a 20 oz pop drank in a day!! To me this is a huge step in the right direction. Also have cut my portions in half at mealtimes. My first weigh in will be Thursday June 16, 2011. I am very nervous for this date but I hope I will see a loss. Wednesday I start water aerobics 3x a week. Wish me luck since I have not had success in dieting ever in my life!!!